When you start meeting someone who awakens something in you that has been out of place, you can’t help but get excited and think about the possibility of building a future with that person. However, although this feeling is natural for humans, lovewe must act. Note And get to know yourself better and make sure the real you matches the image you provide us.
Many people try to explore some type of insecurities before moving forward with a relationship. red flagwhich is the name given to warning signs about someone’s personality or behavior. So, contrary to what most people think, psychologist Jose Capote does not believe that his problems or past relationships are to blame. red flag There are more dangerous, but more subtle dangers as well.
For psychologists, red flags that must be considered are that the person isI fell in love with you “It’s an unparalleled feeling when someone admires us and seeks us out, but that’s why it’s so dangerous” as soon as they meet you. he barely knows you I feel a very strong love, but it’s not love, it’s idealization. ”
If we are starting to know someone and they are already showing exaggerated passion and love, it is most likely that they did not fall in love with us, but based on the ideas they formed. “He’s not in love with you. I fell in love with your version That he invented it so he could escape from his life, the emptiness, the routine, the pain, and everything else. And you, without realizing it, become their emotional savior,” the expert explains via social networks (@dignuscapotepsicologos).
At first, in the short term, this may not seem like a problem. We are showered with attention, time, gifts, and confidence, and they make us feel special…but there comes a time when this “emotional high” passes (“because it passes quickly,” Capote says). Then the inevitable happens. idealization.
Problems arise when the ideas we have about a person do not match reality, as in the case of the idealization phenomenon. “The person realizes that you are not the perfect person they imagined, because no one is,” and, according to psychologists, “i will try become that illusion“:”He will want you to be more attentive, more loving, more enthusiastic, more active, more perfect. And no matter how good of a person you are, no matter how good you are, you will never be able to live out the impossible version you have created in your head. ”
Not being able to achieve your ideals turns into a feeling of frustration, guilt, blame, anxiety And fear. “It’s your fear of failing and your fear of losing the illusion he projected onto you,” Capote clarifies in a TikTok post.
Therefore, if someone falls in love with us too quickly, it may seem like a compliment, but it is more like a warning. “Relationships built on idealization are doomed.” Break you or break you. ”
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