The pain of parting is universalHowever, few people dare to compare it with the grief caused by the decisive loss of a loved one. however, psychologyoften the suffering after a relationship breaks up can be deeper and more tortuous than the grief over a death.
Adrian Chico, psychologist specializing in the field of sexual emotions and co-driver night for twowe spoke to an expert Danny Blasquez In our Mental Health Podcast, we explained the differences and why one is harder to navigate than the other.
“Grieving a breakup can hurt more than the death of a loved one. It could be a father or a mother… because… “Your loved one didn’t choose to leave you; your partner chose to leave you.”said Chico. And he continued: “He won’t leave, because he wouldn’t have wanted to leave and if he could, he would have stayed by your side and by others.” He will continue to live his life even if there is someone he loves more than you.. You see how he lives his life and you can’t do anything to avoid it and sometimes you can’t even understand it. ”
In that sense, he pointed out that not being chosen by the person you want to be with can become an obsession. Shortly after, Blazquez told him: “You explain more deeply than the surface of what I have defined and understand why Not all losses hurt the same, which makes each loss different. ”
“As I always say, everything is It depends on two things: bonding and expectations. “If the bond is very close, if it’s very present in your life, if your life revolves around that person, if your expectations didn’t include the loss, or if you avoided being with that person… in the grief of a breakup, you often don’t see what’s broken,” he noted.
And he completed: “What happens when we mourn a death is what happens over and over again with fathers and mothers, for example, and in theory it is what is known as the law of life.”I’m a little opposed to that concept because I think that something that doesn’t happen even when you’re 95 years old is wrong, something like misfortune. but Within the expectations of the laws of life, a person can more easily accept them”.
Silvia CongostThe self-esteem and relationship expert psychologist revealed through her TikTok account that the foolproof way to quickly recover from a breakup is to have no contact, avoid places, and focus on routine.
“Relationships usually end because it was toxic and one person was suffering…because it was difficult to break up. When one person wants to quit but the other doesn’tit is essential if you want to overcome such cases as soon as possible. zero contact“It seems like a trend that’s being talked about a lot, but it actually has a neuroscientific explanation,” he said.
Similarly, he revealed that The brain has the capacity for neuroplasticitythereby allowing you to adapt to a new situation, in this case life without that person. “That requires minimal information, minimal interference,” he argued. that’s the reason It is recommended not to go to places you have previously spent time together and to maintain contact with the person. We have mutual friends who talk about each other through messages and social networks.
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