“A 20-minute date with a Tinder predator destroyed years of my life”

Nadia, now 34, and Harkins, 38, matched on Tinder seven years ago.

After exchanging messages for a few weeks, they decided to go out to dinner in the Scottish city of Glasgow.

For Nadia, the first red flag appeared when she came to pick him up at her Cumbernauld flat.

He answered the door wearing sweatpants and a tank top and said he was tired and didn’t feel like leaving. He suggested staying home and ordering food through an app.

“That’s when things started getting weird,” Nadia said.

“I went in and there was no one there. There was no furniture. There was nothing in the room except a TV propped up on some boxes.”

Harkins suggested that Nadia mix in a shot of vodka. When he stopped drinking alcohol and poured himself a Diet Coke, his mood changed.

“It was like I had some kind of internal infection,” he said.

“He looked at me like, ‘Who do you think you are? Why are you helping yourself?'”

“I was a little nervous and filled my glass to the brim. When I turned around, I spilled the Coca-Cola.”

“His face was insane. He said something like, ‘You’re so clumsy and you don’t respect my home. You’re a clown.’

“I remember thinking, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’ It was laminate flooring.”

“I said, ‘Here, I’m leaving.’ He pointed at the door and started swearing.”

Nadia said: “I was scared. I thought he was going to come after me. I got in the car, locked the doors and that was it.”

“I thought it would all end there, but things got much worse. I can’t believe that just a 20-minute interaction with that man had such an impact on my life.”

This rejection appears to have triggered Harkins, and Nadia began calling and texting him as soon as she returned.

The first message was: “How could someone like you have the audacity to stop dating me?”

Over time, the situation worsened. Nadia said Harkins threatened to “burn down” her house with gasoline, kill her and attack her father.

He also attacked her appearance and repeatedly insulted her.

The impact on Nadia’s self-esteem was devastating and she was trying to rebuild it after a difficult period in her life.

“I got the message that I was a fat cow,” he said.

“That he was a ‘catfish’ (fake), that he looked like a pig, that he wore too much makeup. This went on all night. I cried so much that I had a headache. At 6 o’clock in the morning, he was still insulting me.”

“I remember looking in the mirror and feeling ashamed of myself.”

“He knew I was losing weight and going to the gym. Just when I thought I was in the best shape, he ruined everything.”

The day after the meeting, Nadia reported the threats and abuse to Police Scotland. She also presented recordings of calls made by Harkins.

In it, he is heard saying he will go to Nadia’s father’s house and drag him out and “beat him.”

“They said there was nothing they could do for me,” Nadia said. “They said there was no direct threat and that if he did anything I should call him back.”

“No one accepted my statement. They wouldn’t help me. I cried out in despair: ‘I can’t go through this, you don’t know what he’s capable of, he’s blackmailing me.’

“If they had done something then, a lot of things could have been avoided for the girls who came after me,” Nadia said.

Harkins continued to harass her long after the encounter. Nadia blocked his number, but more than a year later he was still harassing her and contacting people she knew on social media.

She said, “The mental state he left me in…If it wasn’t for my daughter, I would have ended my life.”

Harkins is currently serving a 12-year prison sentence after being convicted of 19 crimes against 10 women, including physical and sexual assault.

He was initially accused of threatening and abusing Nadia and threatening her family.

As part of a plea deal, prosecutors accepted a plea of ​​not guilty in the case, with Harkins pleading guilty to stealing more than £214,000 from women through travel fraud, bogus investment schemes and the misuse of identities to obtain bank loans.

It was one of the victims who went to the press in a desperate attempt to expose Ms Harkins and protect other women that ultimately prompted Police Scotland to launch an investigation.

She was also ignored by the police after being scammed by him in a travel scam worth £3,247 (about R23,000).

Her story was published in October 2019.

The extent of Harkins’ crimes quickly became apparent, and police began a formal investigation.

Nadia and the other women who had previously complained were contacted again, this time invited to make a statement.

Harkins is scheduled to go to trial in 2024.

When Nadia read the testimony of a woman raped by Harkins, she came to a shocking realization. The rape occurred two months after she met Harkins.

“That girl could have been completely saved,” he said.

“He could have been arrested and she would never have had any contact with him. It’s terrible. That’s all I can say about this. It’s disgusting.”

The BBC investigation uncovered new charges of fraud by Mr Harkins, amounting to around £70,000 (approximately R480,000).

And it turned out that he claimed at least 30 victims.

The report said a letter was sent to Harkins, who is in prison, seeking comment on the allegations, but Harkins did not respond.

Detective Chief Inspector Lindsay Laird, who is responsible for investigating the case for Police Scotland, said it was difficult to explain why the earlier report had not been investigated.

“They were registered at different times so they did not arrive together and were submitted to different departments within Police Scotland,” he said.

“At the time, police had no reports of physical or sexual abuse. The reports were primarily related to financial matters and, when handled individually, were ultimately considered civil investigations.”

“I think it’s fair to say that policing has come a long way since we received these first reports.”

Several women told the BBC that they had reported physical assaults and sexual misconduct years before police began investigating.

Asked if Police Scotland would apologize to the victims who tried to report Mr Harkins, Chief Inspector Lindsay Laird said: “I think that’s a very difficult question to answer. Based on the investigation that has taken place to date, I think the judicial outcome has been successful.”

Mr Laird concluded: “With all the measures we have taken since then, we hope that this experience will not be repeated today.”

In response to these comments, Nadia said: “I know they tried really hard when they decided to do something, but they should have done something sooner.”

“He’s been doing this for years. He could have been stopped. They should have apologized. They could have stopped him.”

Harkins was arrested last year, nearly five years after his first arrest. He was convicted based on the testimony of 10 women.

Nadia received a phone call informing her of the outcome of the trial. “Those women accomplished so much more than anyone could imagine,” he says.

“Now all the people who might cross his path in the future don’t have to do that anymore. What they did was incredible and it was huge.”

Nadia, a mother of two daughters, managed to regain her life and confidence, but the experience left a mark.

“I’m feeling really good today,” he said. “I’m a completely different person and much more confident. I’m not afraid to speak my mind and I’ll never ignore warning signs again.”

In Brazil, women who have been victims of abuse or harassment can call the Women’s Assistance Center 180, which is open 24 hours a day, including weekends and holidays. In case of an emergency, you can ask for help from the military police (190), civilian police (197) or the hotline (181).