“For them, it’s…”

When raising children, teaching them how to ask for forgiveness is one of the lessons that may seem easy but is difficult to put into practice. How do I get it?

Javier de Haro is a psychologist known for saying: … Social networks offer a variety of advice regarding education and child-rearing. In one of the latest publications posted on his Instagram account, the expert asserts that one of the main reasons why children do not apologize is because: They don’t see us doing it.

Psychologists stress that children learn from what they observe, but as adults, what we say and what we do doesn’t always match up. When a father demands respect and responds with yelling, or a mother requests empathy and responds with contempt, the messages the child internalizes are contradictory.

“It’s a much more valuable learning experience for them to see you apologize to your partner or yourself when you’ve called them out unfairly,” De Haro explains, remembering that authority is based on being fair, not coercive.

forgiveness is shown

Furthermore, he argues that forgiveness is something that is done, not said. Even if you say the words “I’m sorry,” there’s no point in saying the words “I’m sorry” if the same behavior is repeated later. Importantly, as he points out, is to understand what we did wrong And think about what you could do differently next time.

Another common mistake parents make is becoming impatient when their child won’t apologize, he added. “He may not want to apologize because he is upset and does not fully understand what happened,” says the psychologist. In cases like this, it’s best to take some time to calm down and process what happened.

That way, your apology will be more sincere and have real meaning, even if it comes later.