The first hour of the day can be a stressful time, especially for parents with young children who are racing against the clock to get to school on time. “It’s very important to plan ahead so you don’t rush and overwhelm your kids, because the only thing we’re going to accomplish is start the morning with more stress,” warns Silvia Alaba, PhD and child and adolescent psychologist, who suggests three guidelines to improve how you start your day with your kids.
stand up on your right foot
For experts, the most important thing is that children get enough sleep: “If your children are particularly irritable, irritable, or distressed when you wake them up, they may not be getting enough sleep. In Spain, both adults and children tend to get less sleep.” Beyond sleep time, Alaba is also passionate about waking her children with love and making sure they have time to wake up. “We always take great care to let them know it’s time to make them feel loved by opening the blinds to let in natural light or turning on lights if it’s still dark,” he points out.
Face the rush with hope
“Sometimes there are parents who want to wake up their child for a shorter time and put him to bed earlier, but this is a mistake, because as an adult you can accelerate at a certain moment and go faster. But a small child’s brain is not yet ready for this, so you need to get up in time,” advises the psychologist, recommending going to bed earlier to get enough sleep.
Alaba’s key guideline is to calculate times accurately. “You have to consider how long it takes your son or daughter to get ready in the morning. Wake up, go to the bathroom, have breakfast, get dressed, comb your hair, brush your teeth, pick up your backpack…You have to think about what it costs your son or daughter, not how much time it takes you as an adult,” he points out. “Before the age of four, the executive control network is not yet mature, which means you have to direct the behavior because it is not clear what needs to be done, and when a child sees a new stimulus, they get distracted and forget what they were doing,” the psychologist elaborates.
Another key to reducing stress and impatience is to prepare everything as much as possible the night before. “This largely depends on age, but you need to find out what the plans are for the next day, whether it’s okay to have clothes, a uniform or a jersey, or whether you’re older and need to bring a craft or a famous flute.”Experts recommend taking all this into account and not just predicting, but also instilling that organization.
Bet on autonomy
“If we involve our children from an early age, tell them what we are going to prepare, and later involve them and ask them to put the books in their backpacks, even if they are small, as they grow, they will get used to it and will cooperate more and more. One day they will do it on their own, and we will only need to supervise them,” says Alaba.
But if we insist on leaving our children the space and independence to get dressed and eat breakfast, we must have that extra time as well. “We leave enough space for you to have breakfast on your own, and even if the milk spills, we have time to calm down and collect it, because you are learning and it is normal. Because if time is very limited, the moment this happens (which is normal in terms of evolution), it’s a drama and the screams start,” explains the psychologist. “The main enemy of the morning is haste, because without time there is no opportunity to react to unexpected situations from calm.”
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