“There will be no forgiveness for those who killed my son.”

Before the interview, Cristina Garrido and her daughter (also known as Christina) left a floral centerpiece in memory of her son and brother, who died on this day 10 years ago. Juan Alberto González Garrido, The 29-year-old was the only Spanish victim to lose his life in the terrorist attack at the Bataclan concert hall in Paris.

Three self-proclaimed Islamic State terrorists entered the concert hall while the American group Eagles of Death Metal was playing the first chords of their song “Kiss the Devil.” Juan Alberto was there with his wife, whom he had married four months earlier. Cristina knew from Madrid that her son and daughter-in-law were going to the concert. Until a few minutes ago, we were talking on the phone almost every day, but that’s the nature of distance. “Mom, I love you” were his last words. “I love you, darling,” Christina replied.

Ten years later, my mother and sister remembered Juan Alberto the day before that memorable day. They are about to board a plane to Paris to attend a memorial service arranged by the French government and the Paris City Council. “These days are very difficult for me and I want them to pass quickly.” “Tomorrow will be a difficult day,” said the sisters. During the interview, it is the mother who speaks, whose fortitude despite excruciating pain is astonishing. He never stopped answering any questions and at one point broke into tears, but the message was clear: “We must continue to remember Alberto.”

–Ten years have passed since the September 11 terrorist attacks. How are you?

–However, for me, less than 10 years have passed. I live like it was yesterday. I don’t feel like that era has passed. I don’t deny that the years pass, they do, and Juan Alberto is not here, and I live with it every minute of every day. But I talk to him every day and keep him in mind. I haven’t forgotten it, it will never happen.

—I’m boarding a plane to Paris in a few hours, will it be difficult to get back?

–Tomorrow (today) is a tough day. They celebrate several memorial events every year, which take place at the Bataclan gates. And, of course, you imagine him standing in line to enter the room (Christina is firmly pressing her legs with both hands, she just imagined her son standing in that line, her eyes wet with tears)… Then you read out the names of all the victims, and it was very difficult. It is difficult to walk where he was. November 13th is a bad day, but the 13th of every month is the worst day of the month, and it’s even worse when it’s already the 13th and a Friday.

–What kind of player was Juan Alberto?

–It was wonderful. He was obsessed with life. Since childhood he was very restless and very suspicious. I’m an incredible reader, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading. He never missed a party. He was very intelligent and always stable.

—I longed for Paris…right?

—He always said he wanted to live in Paris from an early age. We went on vacation when he was 8 or 9 and it’s been his goal ever since. I don’t know why. After that we went to many other places and it was his dream to live in Paris. As soon as he received his engineering degree, he got a job in France, first to Marseilles, then Bordeaux, and finally to Paris.

-Of the 130 people murdered in Paris that night, Juan Alberto was the only Spanish victim. Have you felt that you have been with the Spanish government in recent years?

–Here we receive no assistance from the Ministry of the Interior or anything like that. When we asked something, because the attack was in France… In Spain, victim law is very focused on financial compensation, and we, as mother and daughter, have nothing to do with it. Yes, to his wife.

–But they haven’t received any kind of advice, legal or otherwise?

—In the first year, a psychologist came from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Nothing after that. Support is being provided through victim organizations such as AVT and the Victims of Terrorism Foundation. The Madrid region has also been good to us. But we were completely alone throughout the process, especially during the trial.

–While the trial was going on, you went to Paris every week to hear the details of what happened on November 13th, and I think you found answers.

–I had to be there. They knew what was going on because they were talking about my son and how they killed him. The French government has provided everything for us to be able to attend court and hear the proceedings in court, along with wonderful lawyers that we have been in contact with. However, when I was unable to go due to work, a lawyer and a French victims’ organization gave me a synopsis of the session. Also, the French embassy here (Madrid) provided me with a small room so I could listen to online radio, which from the beginning was exclusively broadcasting the hearings in France, which had been censored abroad for security reasons…I fought with my lawyer to be able to watch the trial without any interpretation. I’m told that it doesn’t matter how heavy it is… I’ll be there for Pim, Pam…for Alberto.

– In June 2022, after a 10-month trial (the longest in French judicial history), Salah Abdeslam, the only surviving attacker, was sentenced to life in prison. Did those words give you any comfort?

-no. Because, as they say, no restoration, no restoration, no trial restored me anything (he picked up the pendant that he always carries with him, which had the name Juan Alberto and his date of birth on it). This is the maximum sentence that can be imposed in France, so it will ultimately have to be reconciled. They have no right to have their days reduced for good behavior or anything like that. What I hope is that when the 30 year prison sentence arrives, we will try him again for what he is doing now, what he participated in more of, and that he will never get out of prison. I will never know how my son died, whether it was sudden or whether he was in pain. These things are always on my mind. All they told me was that he had been shot in the back.

–Can you forgive me?

–That’s impossible for me. you can’t. I can’t forgive Juan Alberto because he was the person who loved life the most. They were cowards who killed him from behind. There is no forgiveness for the person who killed my son. What do you mean? What happened as a result of the attack? Nothing, because things remained the same. They killed 130 people and destroyed 130 homes without achieving any goal. I hope they don’t reach what they call heaven and just go straight to hell.

The clock has already indicated the deadline, so mother and daughter can go to the airport with some peace of mind. They have been to Paris more times than they would have liked, so a familiar journey awaits them. “We have never returned for joy, it is impossible. It is always about Juan Alberto and it hurts the soul,” they say. Today, the monolith in Place Villa de Paris will dawn with three bouquets of flowers and a crown left by a mother, daughter and several other relatives. Also inside is a bottle of Alhambra 1925 beer and flowers. He will leave it every year and every birthday of Juan Alberto and his friend Pablo. “His friends always remember him and always toast him.” “They gave him a bottle of 1925 beer. They loved that beer and I always bought it for him,” his mother recalls. His friends will toast Juan Alberto today with a green bottle.